


Find Me

by andsothebladewentsnickersnack



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Gen, Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andsothebladewentsnickersnack/pseuds/andsothebladewentsnickersnack
Summary: Angst filled Magnus and reader bull shit. Will be many chapters, will include a lot of deaths, but don't worry, everyone always comes back bc Stolen CenturyNone of this is proof read and I don't care.





	1. Chapter 1

In another life you could have loved Magnus Burnsides.   
Days at the Institute were training for your upcoming journey, and in a world where work wasn't your life, you could have _loved_ Magnus Burnsides. But your work was your life, and he wore those stupid cool guy shades, and the only thing you can do is repair ships. That's a lie, you can also fight pretty well and build stuff. But that's not going to come up on a year long journey through the planes, or at least it shouldn't.   
It's hard to feel special among so many incredible people. Taako and Lup are incredible cooks and incredible wizards, and Lucretia can write with both hands, which is amazing. Merle has a connection with his god that you could never understand, and Magnus is an incredible fighter. You get along with Barry and Davenport best. Science and ships were what you knew, and Barry knew science and Davenport knew ships. After turning down an invitation to a bar the night before you leave, you share a few glasses of whiskey with Davenport. You talk about what you'll miss, and what you're excited about seeing, and you share opinions about the rest of the crew. A glass or two in, you're staring into your glass and swirling the amber liquid around.   
"You know, Davenport, in another life I could have fallen in love with Magnus Burnsides."   
You walk onto the ship the next day, carrying a few bottles of 16 year old scotch, aged in oak on an island in a cold and dreary part of the world.   
As you watch the world below you grow gradually farther away, as you watch your world be consumed by this darkness, you pour yourself a glass and regret not bringing more scotch with you.


	2. Down a Dark Path

It's still the first year. It's raining, Taako is out learning things, and Magnus is out being brave, and you, Davenport, and Lucretia have forsaken your leaky shelter and are on the ship.   
"How do we know it's not already on it's way to try to find us? How much time do we have before it comes back?" You ask, talking more to yourself than your companions. When Davenport landed the ship, you went over the interior and everything seemed fine, and when there was nothing you could do to help something heavy settled in your stomach and it still hasn't left. After Taako, Lup, and Barry learn the language you ask Barry to teach it to you and he does. For the most part you don't use it, but one day while you're out inspecting the ship, making sure it's structure wasn't damaged for the twentieth time this year, a young animal approaches you. She's a mountain lion. You've spent enough time outside not to be startled by large animals walking around, so when she speaks to you the only reason that you're startled is that someone is talking to you.   
"Is there a reason why you don't come talk to us? Why do you spend so much time touching your ship?"   
"I..." You think for a moment, trying to come up with the words.   
"I want to make sure everything is ok. I want to make sure that the ship is ok. I'm not a great conversationalist." You say, the grunts awkward in your mouth. The cat nods, and leaves you to your work.   
The council of beasts visits your ship. It's after Magnus stirs things up, and as soon as the owl sees you it's asking you questions. You explain how the ship works to it, and in return (you don't realize at first just how much of a gift the owl was giving you) the owl gifts you a piece of wisdom.   
"Everyone has their part to play, even if they aren't currently playing it. You are not unimportant, otherwise," the owl pauses,"I do not think you'd be here."   
When you're on the ship, running away from the darkness that's following you, mourning Magnus, (you really wish you could have fallen in love with him), and you start to feel this strange pull, you think you're dying. When you open your eyes and are staring down at a glass of scotch, the smokey taste still on your tongue, when you turn to see everyone else and you see _Magnus_ , who you had left behind, who had probably _died_ , you have to stop yourself from crying, so you hide your emotions behind your cup of scotch and you laugh.  
The next year you spend more time with Magnus.


	3. Slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You fall and hide

It's the fifth cycle. The world you're in is empty and quiet, filled with oceans and rocky islands. You haven't opened your second bottle of scotch but are half-way through your first, and every time you regenerate you have a cup in your hands. You die within the first week of landing, standing and watching the water, you fall on the rocks. Your last thought is that you hope that no one is sad about it.   
As soon as you die you wake up again, holding a cup of scotch. You don't savor this one, instead knocking it back as soon as you collect your bearings. You're surprised when Barry hugs you, you're surprised (and you suppress your delight) when Magnus hugs you. When they ask you to check out the lower area of the ship you're less surprised. It's confusing down there, and the ship runs a little slow when it's not up to snuff. You retreat to the underbelly of the ship, happy to have the time alone. You pretend it's sweat that runs down your face, but you can't help but think that it feels like tears.   
It's cycle eight. You haven't died since five. You check the ship weekly just in case you do. You've taken to writing out instructions on the walls down there in case anyone else needs to fix things. You've tried to stay out of people's way for the last three cycles. It's hard to avoid the people that you live with, but you grew up doing it, so it's more of a habit than anything else. When Magnus leaves to find the light and takes everyone but Merle, you, and Taako with him, it makes it easier. Taako doesn't mind if you're not there, and Merle's busy with the Church. Taako makes dinner sometimes, and you can smell it from every part of the ship. You begin to notice that Taako doesn't leave the kitchen until you get your food, so you work on estimating when he's going to be finished so that he doesn't have to wait as long. You eat in the undercroft of the ship, usually. You've moved most of your things down there, it's warm and cozy and it makes you feel safe, and not in the way.   
You didn't even know when the others returned from their expedition- you had been working on a project in the belly of the ship (a sort of failsafe- if a pipe burst it would reroute the steam running through the pipe.) You had been down in the ship for days, maybe. The plate from the last meal that Taako made was growing mold. It must have been three days. You stretched out your back, then grabbed the plate and made your way to the kitchen. You don't get to see Taako's fake Light. One morning you hit your head attempting to climb out of the underbelly of the ship and you lay there for days before you finally succumb to a darkness. You don't recognize it as death, though. You can hear the ship's clanking for an unrecognizable stretch of time before you die.


	4. Friends and Foods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh eat up bitch

When you come back to life, gasping for air on the deck of the Starblaster, scotch in hand, you drink it then replace it with your first bottle and nurse that for a few hours, already tucked back into the bottom of the ship.   
You wake up, bottle of scotch empty in your hands, to the sound of someone climbing down into your hidey hole.  
"Hello?" You question, voice scratching at your throat in a way that wasn't quite painful. Barry Bluejeans answers, voice gruff and tone apologetic.  
"Sorry we- I didn't mean to wake you up. After last cycle we decided to check in on you every day or so, just to make sure you're not…" he stops himself, swallowing.  
"I'm a big kid, I can take care of myself." You say, tucking your bottle away and grabbing your toolkit.  
"You've been down here for years, do you even have any work to do?" He asked, and you roll your eyes.  
"I can find-"   
"Do you know what happened?" He asked, tone slightly desperate.  
"I'm sorry if I wasn't around to fix something- I tried to leave instructions." You say, and he shakes his head.  
"You should go talk to Taako, he's the one who found you."   
You shrug.   
"You really should."   
"I have work to do." You say, and he scoffs.

You don't go find Taako, though he comes in to check on you a few days later, bringing with him a plate of food.  
"You doin' ok bubbeleh?" He asks you, and you make a non-committal noise.  
"Barry said you found me. Did something happen to the ship?" You ask, and Taako laughed.  
"Yeah, the smell was pretty wrong."   
You reposition yourself to see him.  
"What?" You ask, and your eyes found his, gazing at you.   
"You were dead a month and a half before I found you. There was this… this smell. You weren't the first dead body I've seen but you were the most decomposed." He said, and you shrug.   
"It's not your fault, I was dumb. Hit my head."   
His eyes widen and his brow furrows.  
"I didn't even think to look for you for more than a month!" He said, and you shrug again.  
"You were doing something more important. I'm not a child and I don't need people checking up on me." You say, and he shakes his head, handing you the plate of food.  
"Come up, bring it back. The big guy misses you." He said, turning and climbing up the ladder to the basement level of the ship, "and Davenport does too!"   
You shake your head and dig into the food, not realizing how hungry you are till you do.


	5. You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh you go up romance happens and Magnus

You don't go back up. The doubt gnawing in your stomach bolts you to the floor. You shower when you think no one is awake, and you bring water down with you to drink (though the more you drink the more you need to use the rest room). One night you make your way up to see Magnus sitting on the wall across the way from the ladder down, fast asleep. You easily sneak past him, off to shower before returning. When you come back he's still there, eyes trained on the ladder. You attempt to back away but he hears a loose floor board strain slightly under your weight. He looks up at you, taking in your guilty expression and raised hands. He stands immediately, and you don't have time to run away before he engulfs you in a tight hug. You push at him for a moment before your touch starved body gives in, and you're crying silently into his shoulder, shuddering as he rocks you back and forth slowly, rubbing your back and burying his face into your neck. He holds you till you stop crying, and you're falling asleep in his arms before he jostles you gently awake, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to a room - yours you'd assume. His motion stops momentarily, and you peel open your eyes to see what you can only guess is his room. It smells like wood and cinnamon, and when he lays you down on the bed you groan, your back relaxing against the softness. You've been sleeping on metal and comforters for years now, and when he climbed into the bed with you, you're out before he's settled.  
You wake up tangled up in him, feeling more refreshed than you have in years. He's stroking your back gently, and when you look at him he's looking back at you, a gentle smile on his face, and worry in his eyes.  
"We really need to talk. Well, you need to talk. With anyone, doesn't have to be me. But you have some shit going on, and we… I don't want to watch you be this sad and self destructive. Taako doesn't want to find your nasty decomposing body. I'm... I'm really glad it wasn't me who found you." He says, and you take a deep breath, steeling yourself, ready to dismiss his concerns, ready to weasel out of his arms and back to your hiding spot, but when you look at him, really look into his eyes, they're filled with raw emotion and your heart beats in your chest, and no words come. Only tears. And he holds you again. He rubs your back gently and you cry harder. He strokes your hair, pulling you tighter against him, and when you start to talk (only a few words at a time, mostly apologies) he listens, and when you calm down, he helps distract you.   
"You should come out for breakfast." He says, and you shake your head, eyes red and puffy. He nods, and tells you to wait, worry in his eyes, as he leaves to bring you food. When he leaves the comfortable atmosphere grows stale, and you're swept away with the feeling that you shouldn't be here, that anyone is going to judge you, that you're better off hidden, not in anyone's way. Apologies fall off your tongue when Magnus returns, and he waves them away with a shake of his head and a plate in your direction. You accept and pick at the plate, appetite practically non existent.


End file.
